So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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