I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
