evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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