someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I party with great urgency now.
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