Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize