You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
