remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
