u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
