champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize