oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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