I must be too annoying 4 u.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
