I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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