He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
