you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize