this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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