Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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