it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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