we have officially lost it.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
