All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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