I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
