He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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