Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
