Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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