Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i think my cat just said my name.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize