A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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