they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
