I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize