she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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