we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
