I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
