the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just cropdusted the office
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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