I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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