I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
