And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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