Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
