She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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