All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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