YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
