But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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