Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Rumble strips road head = magical
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
