RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
