People in love make me want to vomit
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
