You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
