I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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