I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
