i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
