My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
this is an emotional support booty call
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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