i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
