He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
