I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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