Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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