Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
too bad you live with your parents still
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
