Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I am one with the molecules
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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