i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
