What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
