I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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