In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize