i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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