Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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