dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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