STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
