Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
