Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
