I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just puked most of my soul out..
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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